Body Count

So I was watching Over 25 juzi (“juzi” here means 2017). Just to digress a little, isn’t that a great fucking channel? Huh? Beautiful women talking about titillating topics in a funny, but well-informed way. Too cool. Anyway, so they mentioned this thing on one of their videos. Story na body count and all that.

Please, keep questions about body count to yourself woman. I mean, we fucking, yeah? So why you want to know how many people I’ve done horizontal manenos with (sometimes they’re vertical but who cares about details)? First of all, men are finna lie about their body count. As per popular rhetoric, men will multiply their count by three and women will vice versa that shit and divide theirs by three. So why you wanna be asking when we both gonna lie? And truth be told, I don’t wanna be depressed by stitactics concerning how many people you been intimate with. Shit, I might even know one of them niggers, and damn, that’s a buzzkill. I don’t know how people go screwing their friend’s exes. Doesn’t that shit bug you. Like you boy/girl was fucking the same person a while back, and now you deep in the same situation? Nah. Miss me with that shit.

Hold up, am getting things mixed up. We were talking about body count right? So, sitaki na sitaki kujua. Keep them figures to yourself and don’t inquire about mine. Cause I will motherfucking lie about that shit. I can’t take the risk of finding out that you screwed more people than the years I been alive when I’ve only had two lovers my whole life. Yeah, I said it. Two! Hehe.

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